I am looking at the physical self, at my physical self. I am thinking of all the things I hear day in, day out. Too skinny, too heavy, too tall, too short. I am beginning to think that the issue is the word TOO, somehow too implies there is something wrong with us. I have struggled for too long with accepting myself and loving who I am because the reflection in the mirror never lived up to the ideal image of how I thought I should look or how I thought the world expected me to look.
Of course the world has expectations, but for me these little premeditated resentments were a drain on my self esteem. I somehow understood the importance of a physical appearance, yet since I could not mold myself into an unreachable ideal I would let go of myself and do nothing, develop nothing, and sink lower into the feeling of inadequacy.
Why can’t I look more like (insert name here)? Why am I not as good as (insert name here)? The thoughts that keep us held back rather than learning to love ourselves, build ourselves and find beauty in our appearances. I grew tired of these thoughts! Haven’t you?
I am uniquely me today. I say today because this blog is about being in the moment, knowing where my feet are. Right now I am comfortable in my own skin, I accept all of me as I am, from my messy bun, to my chipped tooth, from my worst to my best of me. Which makes it easier to improve and change. >Gulp<
Yes change. I am not perfect. Although today I know no one is and we will never be. That doesn’t mean for the right reasons I can’t work on becoming a better version of me. I never took enough time to truly learn myself. I tried to people please my way into the hearts of those around me, becoming the me I thought they would like best. I never learned what I liked best, what foods I enjoy really, what colors I like best, what styles of hair and clothes. I was too busy being too short, too thick, too scared.
No more! Today I can toss out the too in front of the sentences I use to describe myself and just be. I don’t need to search for some commercialized ideal that I don’t believe in just in the hopes that someone somewhere will like me. I like me. And that friends is a wonderful feeling! So yes, my appearance matters, but not because I need you to accept me, but because I need to accept me. I need to love myself enough to take care of myself, to better myself and be the best me I can be.
We have one body that we will live one life with. I want to live it and value it to the fullest. Don’t you?
I am beautiful, wonderful and awesome. You each are! That still makes it ok, if it is not to appease anyone else, to become a more beautiful, wonderful and awesome you. I have laid a small ground work of who I am, where I was and now to see where I am going.
Thank you for joining me on the journey! Until our next adventure…
I would love to hear from you! Leave a comment below!
(Photo by Designecologist from Pexels)